


Bucky's Got a Bun in the Oven?

by Metalbvcky



Series: Steve & Bucky and the Avengers Tower of Madness [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers Family, Avengers Tower, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Ceiling Vent Clint Barton, Clint Barton Is a Good Bro, Crack, F/M, Humor, Jarvis (Iron Man movies) is a Good Bro, M/M, MPreg (mentioned), Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Pregnancy (mentioned), Pregnancy Scares, Pregnancy Tests, Sam Wilson is So Done, Steve Rogers is Not a Virgin, Switching (mentioned), Team as Family, Tony Stark Does What He Wants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:29:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24814603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Metalbvcky/pseuds/Metalbvcky
Summary: “I did a pregnancy test,” Bucky announced to everyone in the middle of the common area. He held out the testing strip with his metal hand for everyone to see.It was marked positive.Steve looked up, choking on the beer he was nursing. Liquid covered himself and the couch. “What?!” Wide eyes laced with horror stared at the tiny plus sign that read on the device.“I’m pregnant, Stevie,” Bucky said with a sigh.------A crack fic where Bucky jokingly bought a pregnancy test kit for a prank but it turns out to be positive. Chaos ensues.
Relationships: Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Series: Steve & Bucky and the Avengers Tower of Madness [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1820515
Comments: 37
Kudos: 222





	Bucky's Got a Bun in the Oven?

**Author's Note:**

> While working on a different fic, I got distracted and came up with another idea. It started out as a joke like "hah i'm never gonna write this" but flash forward one night and bam, the whole thing is written. And what did I get? Chaos, pure chaos.  
> I was laughing /the whole time/ writing this and I regret NOTHING! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it as much as I did :)

“I did a pregnancy test,” Bucky announced to everyone in the middle of the common area. He held out the testing strip with his metal hand for everyone to see. 

It was marked positive. 

Steve looked up, choking on the beer he was nursing. Liquid covered himself and the couch. “What?!” Wide eyes laced with horror stared at the tiny plus sign that read on the device. 

“I’m pregnant, Stevie,” Bucky said with a sigh. He walked across the room to sit next to Steve. 

Clint peaked out from the vents and whistled. “Well, I’ll be damned.” 

Sam walked past everyone. “There's no way that’s possible, guys cannot get pregnant, remember?” He sorted through the refrigerator, mumbling to himself as he looked for the milk. “Am I the only one who has some common decency to know that?” 

Bruce whispered next to Sam, “let them have their fun.” 

“Hold on a second. Bucky, why were you taking a pregnancy test in the first place?” Steve said as he wiped beer away from his shirt. 

Bucky opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by a loud voice. 

“What’s going on with Capiscle and Frosty?” Tony walked into the room with what seemed to be the world’s largest smoothie in hand. 

“Barnes is pregnant!” Clint shouted, now hung upside down from the ceiling. 

“Bucky is not pregnant!” Steve shouted at the same time as Clint, not missing a beat. 

Tony stopped in the middle of the room and blinked. His gaze focused on Bucky. “Do what, now?” 

“I’m pregnant,” Bucky repeated, holding up the pregnancy stick for Tony to see. 

Loud slurping filled the silence of the room. “That’s going to be the most patriotic baby to have ever lived,” Tony said. 

Steve set his beer onto the coffee table. “I’ll say it again,” he looked to Bucky. “Why did you take a pregnancy test in the first place?” 

“I bought them when I picked up the flavored lube you mentioned wanting to try last week,” Bucky said, eyes glued to the positive plus sign on the stick. “It was supposed to be a joke.” 

Tony covered his eyes with his free hand. “Mental picture that I did not want has been burned into my brain.” 

“Kinky,” Natasha winked at Steve from across the room. She was sprawled out in an armchair, knitting what looked to be a sweater. 

Steve’s cheeks were beet red. “Bucky, that can’t be possible.” 

With a huff, Bucky looked back up to Steve. “I was captured and tortured by Hydra for years…” he paused. “It could be possible.” 

“No, there’s no way you could be pregnant.” Steve denied, jaw firm. 

“Steve…” 

Steve turned to face himself directly in front of Bucky. His brow was creased, mouth parted, fear was pained all over his face. He took Bucky’s flesh hand into his own. 

With a heavy sigh, “you don’t actually think this could be possible?” Steve asked. 

Bucky closed his eyes for a moment. He swallowed with another sigh before adding, “my stomach has been bothering me lately.” 

“Oh my god,” Steve shrieked as he covered his mouth. 

Tony moved to seat himself in an armchair opposite Steve and Bucky. “You do know we have top of the line medical capabilities now, right?” He continued to sip his smoothie as if this were an everyday occurrence. “He survived all throughout the years, and it wouldn't be a problem this day and age.” 

“Christ, I don’t even want to think about all the things I’ll have to go through.” Bucky pushed a strand of hair back behind his ears, shivering at the thought. 

Steve squeezed Bucky’s hand in a gentle manner. “Buck, we still don’t know for certain that you’re pregnant.” 

Bucky raised his voice. “How do you know that, Steve?” 

“Well…uh,” Steve stammered, at a loss for words. 

Smoothie now drained and set aside, Tony clapped his hands together. “Game time! Someone else should take a pregnancy test, see what the outcome is.” 

“Well, I can’t get pregnant so I’m out,” Natasha said, not looking up from her knitting. 

“I’ll do it!” Clint echoed from the vents. He dropped down gracefully from the ceiling. 

“If my mama were here right now.” Sam shook his head while he poured cereal into a bowl. “She’d be ashamed of every one of you for being this dumb,” he said aloud to everyone. 

“Where’s the pregnancy tests, Barnes?” Clint asked. 

“Bathroom to your left, on the counter.” Bucky nodded toward the hall. 

Clint walked off with a snicker on his face. 

Tony spoke up, waving his hand in the air. “Okay, you know what, are none of you going to acknowledge the fact that Capiscle here isn’t on the receiving end?” 

Steve looked over to Tony. “Who said I wasn’t?” 

A hand covering his face muffled his voice. “Second mental picture I never wanted has been seared into my brain,” Tony said. 

Bruce shuffled around by the stove. “You know, scientifically it could be possible given the logistics of Hydra tech.” 

“I’m gonna be sick,” Bucky and Steve said at the same time. 

“We’re gonna have to name the kid,” Bucky blurted out. 

Steve shook his head. “There’s no evidence that you could be pregnant!” 

A loud shriek and a yell were heard down from the hall. 

Clint stormed back into the room, pregnancy stick in hand. “There’s another bun in the oven!” 

Sam facepalmed and cursed under his breath. “What the fuck has my life turned into?” 

“Oh babe, you get to do the dirty work!” Natasha jokingly cooed at the corner of the living room. 

“That can’t be real, am I the only sane person around here anymore?!” Sam looked back and forth at everyone. 

“Sam’s right,” Steve said, standing up. “You’re both not pregnant! Especially Bucky.” 

“Okay, then.” Tony pointed at Steve. “You know what Capiscle? You’re next.” 

Steve balked at Tony. “What? No!” He crossed his arms. 

Tony lifted himself up to stand in front of Steve. Bouncing up and down on his feet, chanting like a child, he sang. “Take the test, take the test, take the test, take the-” 

“Fine! I’ll do it.” Steve shook his head. 

Bucky’s face fell. “Uh, Steve, you don’t think you could get pregnant, do you?” 

Steve glanced at Bucky, fidgeting with a button on his shirt. “Well with everything the serum gave me, who knows if…” he trailed off. 

“Jesus, you’re right,” Bucky wiped a hand over his face. 

Bruce piped up, “most of the time those tests aren’t exactly accurate but uh,” he paused for a brief second. “I’m gonna get going, this is a little too crazy for me to handle.” 

Tony waved at Bruce as he left the chaotic living room. He turned back to Steve. “Okay, how about this? Capcicle, you and Frosty each take a test. See what comes up between the two of you.” 

“And I’ll take another cause why the heck not,” Clint added. 

“Plus Legolas here will join in, again.” Tony tipped his head over to Clint. 

“You enjoy this, don’t you?” Sam said while stirring his cereal around.

Clint clasped his hands together. “Got nothing else to do!” 

“Do we have enough tests for all of us?” Steve asked.

Bucky stood from the couch. “Oh we do, I bought the value pack.” 

“Why would you need that many?!” Sam dropped his spoon into the bowl full of cereal. 

——

Twenty minutes and three pregnancy tests later, everyone was back in the living room. Steve, Bucky, and Clint each had their pregnancy sticks in hand. They all stood side by side in a line. 

Tony strode between the three of them in the middle of the room. Acting like it was a game show and he was the host. 

“Welcome to ‘Am I Pregnant?’, contender number one, Legolas!” Tony announced, waving a hand at Clint. 

Clint held up the stick for everyone to see. 

Negative. 

“Sorry babe, no bun in the oven,” Clint said to Natasha. 

“We’ll get ‘em next time,” she winked at Clint. 

Clint hopped onto the counter and took out a bag of chips, munching on them as the rest unfolds before him. 

“Contender number two, Frosty!” 

With closed eyes, Bucky held out the pregnancy stick with a huff. 

Negative. 

“Oh thank, God!” Steve doubled over onto his knees. 

Bucky looked at the small minus sign on the pregnancy strip with a frown. “I researched baby names and everything.” 

“You did what?!” Steve looked up at Bucky so fast he could have gotten whiplash. 

“Well, I wanted to be prepared in case.” Bucky shrugged, tossing the strip into the trash. 

Tony snapped his fingers in the air. “Uhm, hello? We still have contender number three here. Capiscle?” 

“You’re joking, aren’t you?” Steve said, shaking his head. “Like the serum could do such a th—” 

Steve turned the pregnancy test over in his hands. Staring blankly at it, his mouth parted like a fish out of water.

Positive. 

“What…” Steve blinked in disbelief. “Are these things really that faulty?” 

Clint laughed with a mouth full of chips, clearly enjoying all of this. 

Bucky shook Steve’s shoulder. “See! Now you know how I feel!” 

“Am I pregnant?” Steve looked between Bucky and everyone in the room. “Are you pregnant?!” 

“Excuse me,” JARVIS announced to everyone in the open area. 

“What’s up, buddy?” Tony asked. 

“I took the liberty upon myself to scan Sergeant Barnes. As it turns out, the Sergeant is not pregnant. Neither is the Captain. My apologies Captain Rogers, Sergeant Barnes,” JARVIS said. “That also goes for you, Mr. Barton.” 

“Aw, thanks anyway,” Clint said, pouring the rest of the chips into his mouth. 

Steve wrapped an arm around Bucky, covering his face in the crook of his neck. “For a moment there I thought it could be possible.” 

Bucky rubbed a hand over Steve’s back. “The idea of having a kid with you is great and all,” he said. “But the reality of it?” He shivered. “That’s terrifying.” 

“Yeah, how would that even work?” Steve pulled himself up with a laugh. “Wait, don’t answer that. I don’t want to know.” 

“Well, this has been fun!” Tony patted both Bucky and Steve on the shoulder as he walked past them. “Let me know if anyone has another crisis, you know where to find me.” He walked out of the room. 

Sam placed his empty cereal bowl in the sink. “Leave it to the AI for having the most common sense.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on Tumblr! I make gifs too! Metalbvcky (Marvel) & Princesscas (Spn)


End file.
